Misery Business
by VioletDemon241
Summary: A one-shot to the song Misery Business by Paramore. Shizuo is in love with Kyohei, but Izaya came in and took Kyohei away from him. What will Shizuo do?


**Hello everyone, my name is VioletDemon and welcome to Misery Business! I like songfics and I wanted it to be based on something besides Shizaya, so...here's what I got. Also, I know I haven't been on Fanfiction in a long while; actually it's been a year, if I think about it. Anyways, sorry to those that actually gave a fuck about my absence, but I've been dealing with life and shit. Sadly...life was giving me shit and I lost motivation to work on other unfinished stories. BUT REST ASSURED! I will get around to it and I'll finish it in no time, I promise!  
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**Disclaimer: I do not own the Durarara characters or 'Misery Business' by Paramore. I only own the plot :)**

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><p><strong>I'm in the business of misery<strong>  
><strong>Let's take it from the top<br>****She's got a body like an hourglass  
><strong>**It's ticking like a clock**

Kyohei had been going out with Izaya for a little while and I would be lying if I said it wasn't killing me to see him with that scrawny fuck. Izaya's always walking around like as if he owns the goddamn school and isn't ashamed to show off his feminine body. I glared at them from my seat in the back of the class as they shared a kiss. I barred my teeth and looked back outside; God, I hate that fucking flea.

**It's a matter of time**  
><strong>Before we all run out<strong>  
><strong>When I thought he was mine<strong>  
><strong>She caught him by the mouth<strong>

I remember kissing Kyohei during Homecoming; even thought it was a complete accident, he enjoyed it as much as I did and I thought I had him. But as soon as I left for summer vacation, Izaya kissed him and melted his heart (more like his dick! HAHA! Ahh, I shouldn't make jokes...). I wasn't just crushed, I was absolutely obliterated. Figures though; I mean, who would date a monster like me?

**I waited eight long months**  
><strong>She finally set him free<strong>

On their eighth month anniversary, Izaya dumped him. The next day as we were talking, Kyohei asked how I haven't scored a date in the past year. Despite popular belief, I did have some fan girls and did receive love confessions every now and then.

I shrugged and replied, "The only guy that I liked was in a relationship."

**I told him I couldn't lie**  
><strong>He was the only one for me<strong>

"I can't lie; as fucking cheesy as it sounds, you stole my heart when we first met."

**Two weeks and we caught on fire**  
><strong>She's got it out for me<strong>  
><strong>But I wear the biggest smile<strong>

It's been two weeks since we officially started going out and I still get excited everytime I kiss Kyohei. Izaya's pissed as hell, what with his whorish self, and has been sending gangs after me non-stop for the past couple of days. However, I could care less what he threw at me. When you've got an awesome boyfriend, a jealous, slutty bitch don't mean shit in comparison.

**Whoa, I never meant to brag**  
><strong>But I got him where I want him now<strong>  
><strong>Whoa, it was never my intention to brag<strong>  
><strong>To steal it all away from you now<strong>

It makes me happy to know that Kadota's mine; especially because of Izaya. I'm not scared of that skinny little shit, so why bother keeping our relationship a secret? Finally, for once in my life, I can brag about something that'll make Izaya feel inferior.

**But God does it feel so good**  
><strong>Cause I got him where I want him right now<strong>  
><strong>And if you could, then you know you would<strong>  
><strong>Cause it just feels so<strong>

**It just feels so good**

During lunch, Izaya walked in and stood above Kyohei, his Cheshire smile ever so present and his eyes half-closed. Kyohei was silent as Izaya placed his hands on his hips. "Hey Kyo~"

He wasn't moved by the guy's flirting as his face stayed blank. The only reaction he gave was a raised eyebrow. "Can I help you?"

**I watched his wildest dreams come true**  
><strong>Not one of them involving you<strong>  
><strong>Just watched my wildest dreams come true<strong>  
><strong>Not one of them involving<strong>

I watched all of this while sitting on Kyohei's lap; DON'T SAY A GODDAMN WORD, FANGIRLS! Anyways, I watched as Izaya's façade slipped up, but quickly regained it. "Explain to me how you're with this protozoan and not with me? If you haven't noticed, I'm way sexier and more intelligent than this gorilla." To add on to his point, he batted his eyelashes. "So how about you just leave the brute and come back to me?"

By now, the entire cafeteria went silent as they were transfixed on our conversation. I glared daggers into Izaya's brain, ready to pounce whether Kadota answered or not. I tensed up when long, slim fingers gripped my face and soft, full lips were placed onto mine.

**Whoa, I never meant to brag**  
><strong>But I got him where I want him now!<strong>

We separated after what felt like an eternity. My eyes heated up as I gazed into his dark eyes, but I quickly glanced away. "Stop staring at me like I'm a piece of meat!"

**Whoa, I never meant to brag**  
><strong>But I got him where I want him now<strong>  
><strong>Whoa, it was never my intention to brag<strong>  
><strong>To steal it all away from you now<strong>

A cough brought us out of our stupor. Izaya stood there, flabbergasted; his black uniform girl hanging off his shoulder a little.

"But...what...why...protozoan...HUH?!"

**But God does it feel so good**  
><strong>Cause I got him where I want him now<strong>  
><strong>And if you could, then you know you would<strong>  
><strong>Cause God it just feels so<strong>

My boyfriend and I stood up, interlacing our fingers. I spoke up, giving the flea my famous death glare. "Sorry Izaya, but you had your chance. There's a million other guys who do it just like you and you're definitely no exception. So stay the fuck away from me and Kyohei before I punch your teeth down your throat."

His eyebrow twitched before he stomped his way out. I did a fake wave before I kissed Kyohei softly.

**'It just feels so good...'**

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><p><strong>And that does it for this chapter of Misery Business! If you liked it, PUNCH that review button IN THE FACE...LIKE A SON OF A BITCH! AND...likefavorite/follow if you enjoyed this. But seriously, THANK YOU GUYS...and I will SEE ALL YO LOVELY FACES...IN THE NEXT ONE-SHOT! **


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